Elsa,
Hey beauty. How are those mountains? What are they teaching you today, whispering, shouting? What do you love today, what teaches you, what are you afraid of right now?
Photo by Alec Matlock
Thank you for teaching me so many things. How to charge forward, let go of what's not for you, to create a life that is. You are legit one of the most beautiful individuals outward as inward. I hope you know and hear that. We, as humans, often get too comfortable being uncomplimentary and unsharing of what we think and feel. Alongside beauty, your creativity astounds me. Absolutely limitless and otherworldly. I look forward to watching you soar and shine.
I love the deeper questions and wish to really ask them to a few:
What do you care to not travel with any further? What do you have to let go of?
Fear. One acts either out of eternal love or hopeless fear. I often find myself falling towards the latter in times of doubt and stress. I close up, shut down, push everything and everyone away in the hopes that I can work through my mental spasms on my own. I have insecurities about my lifestyle and its lack of conformity. I have insecurities about my outward appearance, but understand and respect the universal forces that have made me perfectly imperfect like all the individuals around me. I'm afraid to be wrong, afraid to make mistakes, afraid to change... but I also find strength in this fear. I acknowledge it and challenge it, for the absolute only way to grow is to admit defeat, to try again and again and to explore the unexplored.
What have you created space for now?
I have created time. I am swimming in wealth of time. Time has given me knowledge and creativity. What is the point of our existence if not to create?
Photo by Elle Malmstrom
We paint over our struggles, afraid to show our hearts, either worried to be judged (often we are) but darling, when we show our hearts (even if judged), we will be blessed.
So, also, tell me:
When have you tried and triumphed?
The triumph that comes to mind is a curious one, as my initial feelings are that I don't entirely deserve it... but I'll get to that.
Two of my sticker designs are being sold by two massive sporting goods corporations, REI and Bass Pro Shops. While a lot of this was left up to chance (there is a bit of chance in everything, wouldn't you agree?), I also know that I have been working toward this moment since the literal day I was born. Each instance of exploration, every doodle I've drawn, every lecture I've given myself as a "boss" and mentor, all the hours of rejection and re-creation. I have made my life. This life is mine. Each event that occurs, happens because of a decision I've made. I do deserve this. I deserve the world, because I am the sole creator of my world.
The opportunity to have my art anonymously displayed in these massive retail stores is 1. great validation, 2. I'll make a little money, but the ULTIMATE satisfaction I receive from this accomplishment is that I've broken the system and have slipped my essence and spirit into a massive, grey, corporate power house. I think of it like the mycelium of a mushroom breaking down chemical walls, filtering out contaminants, restoring nutrients into the earth and hastening restoration one fiber at a time. The power and overhead won't change. Lets be the change and initiate it from the ground up.
Tried and failed?
Major, major fail.. I wrote this entire blog, hit save, squarespace glitched and deleted every piece of my previous writings. Perhaps what I had written prior will make more sense now that I've had to write it twice:
I know two very wise men with two entirely opposite positions on "failure".
The first, an entrepreneur in his early adulthood. Failure is not an option for this one. He feels that failure is synonymous with resignation of expired dreams. He detests failure and refuses to submit to it.
The second, an elder of travel and exploration, sees failure as the truest, purest form of growth. One must fail in order to learn the next step in a progression of many. Failure can be difficult, but is never without future positive impact.
I like to keep both these positions on deck when I think about failure. I like to think I fail rarely and often. Rarely, in that each action or situation is a piece of a greater whole, despite the action having a negative impression initially. I also admit to failing often because failure is natural, beautiful and common. I am perfectly imperfect and so are my faults. My faults are part of the map that has no beginning and no end.
Photo by Aaron Elliot
Hopes and dreams? The stories you keep. I would love, if you allow it, to know...
I will become a silversmith by both trade and hobby. I will decorate desserts and perhaps learn how to bake them too. I will become fully competent in driving a manual vehicle. I will give away all my belongings and all my money. I will go to outer space even if my body stays on earth. I will build a home with my hands as well as homes for my chickens and bees. I will create life and teach a child to love the planet in the same regard as I do. I will create life and grow a plant that will one day be consumed by me and infused into my skin and bones. I will build a farm where I will trade healing and wellness for an individual’s time. I will teach them how to effectively utilize their time in order to achieve ultimate freedom in their own individual life’s structure.